The Faux Pas Press #186: Exotic Dusk

 

A parody plays again and again in the rooms of the mind. It is about the females with whom and for whom I have willingly bled; and again, they are there speaking lines that another wrote. These are lines with which I am compelled to deal. So, when anger is present most are frightened. Perhaps, they are unwilling to sense and feel their own fears and be honest about them. So, most go around apologizing for each emotional state instead of changing them. "I'm sorry," the Fool says, " I didn't know I was responsible for all thoughts, words, deeds, and actions." The trick, the magik, the rub is that we resist something and it persists in our lives. Thus, all that we attempt to exercise from the corpus finds a hide out in which to sleep and wait for opportunity. What we resist is what persists.

A place along the ridges of the Hindu Kush shows that an exotic dusk awaits also. Thin, wavering lines of frequency come from the output and meet the transmissions of others, our loved ones, our family, or our partners in the galaxy. These lines can bend to any yearning we feel. And our speaking makes all things so. Sigils weave the fabric, and we then wonder how events come to pass. The need to get even, to seek vengeance, the need to be right, to be justified. You've done this my whole life and I've bought and sold this right. But I now forget the illusion that I am not enough, that I am doing what is most important for humanity by bending and listening to these voices, these plaintiffs working on the rooms in my mind.

I begin now. I embrace the truth about my existence, the same truth I embraced as a sober, celibate, pure young missionary for that Church. Oh my god, it so clear now. That religion was placed in my life for a reason. My addictions were placed in my life for a reason. As was this moment placed in my life for a reason. I meet you at Exotic Dusk with a gratitude. I embrace the future and present- one that is love, power, and of a sound mind. A life with purpose is a life in love. I've known and done something about it. You've known it and squandered your time. And I will do nothing to save you now. You must save yourself.