The Faux Pas Press #184: Angelic Black Riders

Their insanity shown clearly in my own, their shallowness allows for a swim into my own consciousness, and the night still looks as black for me as it does for them. I can let go of details; I can let go of control. A paradox amounting to the revelation of what I have not allowed for myself in the past. Those demons that I’ve willingly allowed to control me; those angelic black riders that take the bridle of my thoughts, these are the powers that have been allowed to run my life. And because I have looked at others, the Imposter, the King, the Soothsayer, the Vagabond, and the Prostitute, they have so easily taken the power from my inherent gift. And I have allowed them to do this by not surrendering to God.

There is a magik in my soul. There is the ability to surrender outcome, to release results to he who knows better than I. And in my sobriety now, I am able to function like a thinking man, looking at facts for what they are and letting the falsehoods die. My time in dangerous places carries a different ring. I can see the forest through the proverbial trees and I can tackle any obstacle with grace, a grace that is freely given when I relinquish my need to control it. I am a member of teams that may disgrace me behind my back, but what others say about me know is none of my business. What is important is what I think about myself. Nothing else. They can give me gifts: feedback, instruction, help, and pointers. I can allow them to do this without taking their filters onboard. I can allow for things to be out of my control. And I can trust in God to allow for my fate as he will.

So then I am free to conjure powerful thoughts, transformative thoughts. These thoughts are new affirmations like: I embrace the power of the All-Knowing; I forget the stories of my failure as I surrender my success. We tap into the stories that others tell about us. And what do these stories actually mean? They don’t mean very much at the end of the day. We just do our work and let the rest fall where it may. Try this. Embrace new stories about yourself. Not that challenges will not arise but that they will. And that grace can enter into your life.