The Faux Pas Press #64

The Faux Pas Press #64

By Jason Fresh

20 October 2010

I describe the role and ideal. But the distortion I want, talking about freedom all the while, is sculpted by a formula of beauty that is ideal. But there is an ideal and this ideal that you help to sculpt is no freedom, a reaction, not a freedom at all. You can be free from dogma but that has its own reaction – it may not be fashionable anymore and that has its own ideal, nationality. So isolated!! Are you living in some dreamy ivory tower of mattering, of a detailed past, lofty and rich? Well, let me tell you this is not a healthy path into solitude at all. It is still conditioned by your ideal. “I just want to be alone with my books!” Well, fuck you, friend. And when I say ‘fuck you’ I’m also fucking myself - I’ll have you know. There is no life or ideal greater than the ideal you are currently living. And you are not the ideal. How do you like that?

Living with yourself, alone, as you actually are, is freedom. Get used to your own anxiety, your own fears, your worry that you are worthless, your husband, your wife, jealousy. But you must care for all of these things. Do not condemn it. Love it. Care for it. You just care about observing the thing that you really are. You don’t have affection. And you are not good. Can you live with that without getting depressed or suicidal? “I am happy,” there he is, living in a memory of something that is gone.