The Faux Pas Press #45: Mililani Town Center

11 July 2010

The Faux Pas Press #45

Mililani Town Center

By Jason Fresh

When you’ve discovered that excitement on a Saturday night means a trip to the Mililani Town Center, you can not only likely say but surely say that you’ve been married long enough to hate it, that you’ve been duped into supporting values you’ve sworn to destroy. You’ve been sold on an idea that a loving father wears clothing purchased at the Levi store. He also smiles charmingly at a Baskin Robin’s cashier.

Though you fancy your partner well enough and can’t get enough of your beautiful daughter - you also realize that life in Mililani really sucks for most people.

Like you, most men have been duped into believing that a wife really wants anything other that to use you (and rightly so, this is how she survives - through seduction and avarice.) You discover that you not only hate marriage but all those who uphold its shrubby foliage with the idea that someday, somehow the right person will come along and make life happy.

Or, that you hate those dead set on convincing themselves that the right person has already arrived. Yes, just like Fatmandu, the chubby bastard wearing an over-sized cotton Faded Glory brand collared shirt smiles as he walks into Assagio, a poor excuse for Italian cuisine, and his angst-ridden wife trots behind him. They will go home and engage in what they call sex – this is only because they don’t know any better. At the Mililani Town Center, fat, happy, Thai-food eating folks converse over grub pulled from the earth in unsustainable ways, cooked by underpaid slaves in the Home of the Free, and regurgitated in church restrooms on Sunday morning, churches where pastors preach on the harmonious family unit and its lasting importance.

But it all starts right there – right there at the fucking Mililani Town Center.

And yes – it all ends here – right here at the Mililani Town Center.