The Faux Pas Press #5
A Weekly Thought
By Jason Scott Chambers
The Prime Mover
I would like to start this week's message with a thought taken from Steven Pressfield's book The War of Art. He got it from some Pre-Christian Era Rambo. "It is one thing to study war and another thing to live the Warrior's life." (Telamon of Arcadia, Mercenary of the Fifth Century B.C.) A Warrior is easy to identify because, the way I see it, there are two types of people in this world: 1) the kind of people who face their fears and 2) the kind of people who run from them. There are no fearless people under the Sun, only those who choose to face fear head on. (There is also a third, those who have not figured out how to stop drinking 2 liters of soda before bed. I've been waking up in a puddle of my own urine since my parents put me on Ritalin at the age of 8. So, frankly, I don't know where I fit in the Warrior model.)
I believe that we are all afraid. Some are afraid of having others find out that addictions have run their lives, some have no intentions of starting that business even though they talk about it, and some are just afraid of being a nobody.
"What will they say about me if I fail?"
"Well, there's a special site in the Redneck Discount Graveyard for people who didn't clear a million dollars in a year, the same section where bad followers of big churches go. What happens if they don't speak your name? or if you never find it on the walk of fame? But on the walk of shame? Special site in the Redneck Discount Graveyard.
" When you run from fear what do you run to? In many directions. I have some ideas: cheeseburgers, booze, chocolate, cheezy quesadilla goodness, the explanation of why I failed not the description of how I succeeded. Here is the Warrior conquered by the Enemy. You know, I get so tired of hearing the damn sob stories: my back, my blood pressure, my job, my health condition, I can't stop peeing my pants at sleepovers, I just can't figure out what I want to do with my life, I should have been a doctor but I don't have wide enough lips to choke on the enormous cock of the Dean of Admissions at medical school, I can't believe this crowd - they're really tough - I should probably stop doing comedy and go home and wipe cheese spread on my balls.
Let me ask you a question. "What is the real you doing while a false you goes about living your life?" Is he watching you run away? Run to a new pathetic relationship? Where is the singer who got off stage years ago? If you're not living the dreams you want, can't you do one thing today to live your dreams? If you want to be a doctor, can't you spend 10 minutes studying medicine (or at least do mouth-widening exercises?)
What do you do to face your fears? Now, pay attention because here's the weekly thought. I know that I've unloaded quite a bit on you, but here she blows, Odysseus. You face fear by doing the Prime Mover, the First Thing closest to your fear, not by ordering another article of clothing from Banana Republic.
Let me qualify. Have you ever seen someone doing the Prime Mover, the First Thing closest to the fear? What do they look like? Depressed? I think not. I'll tell you how I feel when I see them. If I'm not practicing my Prime Mover, I feel envious and afraid that I will never by that kick ass. If I am doing the Prime Mover then I know them because I am like them. I see a reflection of the real me not the false me who says, "You shouldn't write your three pages today. You should probably spend your afternoon eating churros and watching a fat dude eat pizza at Costco and yell at his children." I see who I really am.
Doing the Prime Mover means not doing anything else until it is done. If you consistently paint your pictures, it won't matter if the masses don't appreciate them. It will not matter in the slightest because you will be the real you. You face your fear by doing the Prime Mover, the First Thing closest to your fear, not by ordering another article of clothing from Banana Republic. I would like to thank author Steven Pressfield for the gift of his life and his kick ass work.
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
fauxpaspress.blogspot.com
soon to be www.fauxpaspress.com
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The Faux Pas Press #4 - "Will You Be Needing Anything Else?"
The Faux Pas Press #4
A Weekly Thought
By Jason Scott Chambers
Will You Be Needing Anything Else?
There are a few precious relationships worth keeping, nourishing with the energy of our lives, and the kicker is that we get to decide, moment upon precious moment, which ones they are exactly. We get to decide which relationships we would stop time for, give blood for, which ones we’d step on the executioner’s block for, but none of these relationships, no matter how valued, can clarify the needs of the Essential Self, the art that we ought to live. Clarity must exist within the Self before life can be created the way we truly want it – from vivid imagination to projection in the physical world. This week has brought me clarity in the Self, the piece of art that ought to be my life.
Some have said that art is a reflection of our lives, but I say that art is the wholeness of our lives, the highest prayer, and the deepest expression. Some have said that art is a reflection of society; if that is true then the converse must also be true. Hopefully, this thought will strike a chord within you, inspiring clear thoughts, and creating new projections, pieces of art that your life could be and should be and also a society that ought to be.
I returned to Oahu on Sunday night, my appetite and ego fed by kind in-laws, my spirit on fire with the clarity of Lola and Elizabeth, the relationships worth keeping. I wrote a poem to express my longing for permanence and dedicated it to my wife who, despite my romantic intentions, still believes that I smell like Cheeto’s and cat urine at my worst moments. She should have chosen a little wiser (a lesson for any woman thinking about getting knocked up - make sure that you smell him at his worst).
A friend drove me back to Pearl Harbor. I then got into my own car and having decided to find a late-night spot to eat, I drove to a not-so-elegant site, one of a few Pearl Ridge dives, a place called the Curry House. It is late so I’m not really thinking. I’m not too picky as it stands so the Asian escort lounge two doors down doesn’t bother me. I’m not ready for chit-chat, and the last thing on my mind is this weekly thought. I didn’t expect a waitress at the Curry House to deliver it, but here it is.
“Will you be needing anything else?”
“What?
“Will you be needing anything else?”
A light goes off. After a perfect week with my wife, after the mediocre bowl of yellow curry, after an array of disturbing looks from the locals, I think on my life. I’ve got clarity.
“No, No, thank you. I’ve got everything I need.”
The strange and unbelievable truth is that I wasn’t lying - not in the least. The clarity comes with knowledge that I am in need of nothing and offered more than I ever dreamed. With few words, an ethereal mist of curry and wisdom enter the sky that is my brain, not stopping there, but making its way to the ocean that is my heart. I am clear.
Clarify. What do you need? The Curry House Waitress of the Universe asks you, “Will you be needing anything else?” You might consider answering, “No, no thanks, I’ve got everything I need.” You will soon discover that you are right; you have more than you’ve ever dreamed.
Most importantly, you have clarity. You know what your life ought to be, what relationships to live and die for, and what to focus on. I am thankful to share this with you.
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
Pearl City, HI
P.S.
The Faux Pas Press is available on www.fauxpaspress.blogspot.com. I have also decided to post my first work, Jack Mormon: 69 Revelations on Being a Mormon and Trying Your Damnedest to be a Latter-day Saint. You can check out some new poems I’ve written including Drive to the Airport which I mention in this piece – www.sharepoetry.com/fauxpaspress. The Apostate Hymns still available on www.outskirtspress.com.
Also, I ran a 5k the other day; I’m not too happy with the results. 21:40 min. That is marathon pace not 5k pace. It might have had something to do with the 24 pack of Stella Artois that my mother in-law purchased just for me - more than I ever dreamed.
A Weekly Thought
By Jason Scott Chambers
Will You Be Needing Anything Else?
There are a few precious relationships worth keeping, nourishing with the energy of our lives, and the kicker is that we get to decide, moment upon precious moment, which ones they are exactly. We get to decide which relationships we would stop time for, give blood for, which ones we’d step on the executioner’s block for, but none of these relationships, no matter how valued, can clarify the needs of the Essential Self, the art that we ought to live. Clarity must exist within the Self before life can be created the way we truly want it – from vivid imagination to projection in the physical world. This week has brought me clarity in the Self, the piece of art that ought to be my life.
Some have said that art is a reflection of our lives, but I say that art is the wholeness of our lives, the highest prayer, and the deepest expression. Some have said that art is a reflection of society; if that is true then the converse must also be true. Hopefully, this thought will strike a chord within you, inspiring clear thoughts, and creating new projections, pieces of art that your life could be and should be and also a society that ought to be.
I returned to Oahu on Sunday night, my appetite and ego fed by kind in-laws, my spirit on fire with the clarity of Lola and Elizabeth, the relationships worth keeping. I wrote a poem to express my longing for permanence and dedicated it to my wife who, despite my romantic intentions, still believes that I smell like Cheeto’s and cat urine at my worst moments. She should have chosen a little wiser (a lesson for any woman thinking about getting knocked up - make sure that you smell him at his worst).
A friend drove me back to Pearl Harbor. I then got into my own car and having decided to find a late-night spot to eat, I drove to a not-so-elegant site, one of a few Pearl Ridge dives, a place called the Curry House. It is late so I’m not really thinking. I’m not too picky as it stands so the Asian escort lounge two doors down doesn’t bother me. I’m not ready for chit-chat, and the last thing on my mind is this weekly thought. I didn’t expect a waitress at the Curry House to deliver it, but here it is.
“Will you be needing anything else?”
“What?
“Will you be needing anything else?”
A light goes off. After a perfect week with my wife, after the mediocre bowl of yellow curry, after an array of disturbing looks from the locals, I think on my life. I’ve got clarity.
“No, No, thank you. I’ve got everything I need.”
The strange and unbelievable truth is that I wasn’t lying - not in the least. The clarity comes with knowledge that I am in need of nothing and offered more than I ever dreamed. With few words, an ethereal mist of curry and wisdom enter the sky that is my brain, not stopping there, but making its way to the ocean that is my heart. I am clear.
Clarify. What do you need? The Curry House Waitress of the Universe asks you, “Will you be needing anything else?” You might consider answering, “No, no thanks, I’ve got everything I need.” You will soon discover that you are right; you have more than you’ve ever dreamed.
Most importantly, you have clarity. You know what your life ought to be, what relationships to live and die for, and what to focus on. I am thankful to share this with you.
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
Pearl City, HI
P.S.
The Faux Pas Press is available on www.fauxpaspress.blogspot.com. I have also decided to post my first work, Jack Mormon: 69 Revelations on Being a Mormon and Trying Your Damnedest to be a Latter-day Saint. You can check out some new poems I’ve written including Drive to the Airport which I mention in this piece – www.sharepoetry.com/fauxpaspress. The Apostate Hymns still available on www.outskirtspress.com.
Also, I ran a 5k the other day; I’m not too happy with the results. 21:40 min. That is marathon pace not 5k pace. It might have had something to do with the 24 pack of Stella Artois that my mother in-law purchased just for me - more than I ever dreamed.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
The Faux Pas Press #2 - So Dissappointed
THE FAUX PAS PRESS #2
A Weekly Thought
By JASON SCOTT CHAMBERS
03 AUGUST 2009
So Disappointed
I missed last week, maybe just to see if I was missed. I haven’t caught grief yet and I don’t know if that is a good thing. Again, I’m just trying to send some good, and today, I believe I have a moral obligation to express this one. Man has got to think about this. So, here is my question. Did you know that you are a disappointment? That is correct, you self-centered, coffee-consuming westerner. Yes, you are!
To someone out there in your circle of influence you are a disappointment. In fact, at any given position on the line of time there is one who travels parallel to you saying, “I am so disappointed in you.” Take me for example. “How dare you wear white after Labor Day!” or “Jason Scott Chambers, how dare you take a dump in the sink - especially before bedtime. How could you do something like that?” Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m the only man who has ever disappointed. Nope. (I know for a fact that I’m not the only man on earth who has ever dropped a duce in a public sink. Shuck N’ Jive, Dallas, TX, MAY 2007).
Besides all of that, here is my weekly thought. Ready? What disappoints you in others once disappointed others in you. Here I go again for all of you smart people, pretty much everyone I know in comparison to me. What disappoints you in others once disappointed others in you.
You look back along the line, the eternal mess going from Point A to Point B, cradle to grave. At every single point along that line there was at least one soul who was disappointed in a choice you made. Some applaud when you eat your weight in pizza; others frown and say a prayer for your feigning health. So, I ask another question. What gives you the right to be disappointed? Not trying to answer - really just asking.
I’m interested in this question because I was recently disappointed. I was in Chinatown, Honolulu. Don’t ask me why but there I was. A man approached me, a man that I didn’t begin to classify. No, this guy did enough classifying for the both of us. We engaged in a few trivial exchanges. Then, I found myself, listening to this guy, learning more about how he saw himself than I ever cared to. Not only that. But I also learned how this guy thought the rest of the world saw him.
“I am a homeless man,” he said. “I am a political exile from a foreign country so I could never find a job.” “I’m a piece of shit.” “You are clean,” he said. “You are rich, wealthy.” (Enough positive, self-affirmation and others will begin affirming you, I guess.) But no, seriously, I get really pissed.
“Like I should feel bad because I took a shower this morning and have put forth effort to build a life for myself. Here you are with opportunity all around you but you can’t see the forest through the trees. What a disappointment!”
Here is the crux. Here is what I can learn – here is what we all can learn. Compassion. Compassion does not obligate you to give more of yourself than you are able or run around saving everyone. It does not force you to give money or time or your life. It does not ask you to do for others what they could do for themselves. Nope. It asks, “What gives you the right to be disappointed?” Compassion articulates that you are in others as they are in you.
So, as you wave around that stick of morality, that rightness that you live and the hope of all that will come from unseen to seen.
Remember, as you become the Buddha or see the Christ shinning back you from that congenial reflection. What disappoints you in others once disappointed others in you.
Thank You.
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
Oahu, HI
PS – I would like to thank all who responded last week. I got some excellent feedback on the story and hope to make you laugh more and more. Also, some new announcements. My wife is doing well. I’m going to see her next week – back to the mainland.
Invitation: I am running the Honolulu International Marathon on December 12th and all are invited to join me. I have set out to qualify for Boston. That’s right. My best and only marathon time is 3:43 so this will be one of the biggest challenges of my life. I have to beat 3:10. Do you think I got it? We’ll see.
A Weekly Thought
By JASON SCOTT CHAMBERS
03 AUGUST 2009
So Disappointed
I missed last week, maybe just to see if I was missed. I haven’t caught grief yet and I don’t know if that is a good thing. Again, I’m just trying to send some good, and today, I believe I have a moral obligation to express this one. Man has got to think about this. So, here is my question. Did you know that you are a disappointment? That is correct, you self-centered, coffee-consuming westerner. Yes, you are!
To someone out there in your circle of influence you are a disappointment. In fact, at any given position on the line of time there is one who travels parallel to you saying, “I am so disappointed in you.” Take me for example. “How dare you wear white after Labor Day!” or “Jason Scott Chambers, how dare you take a dump in the sink - especially before bedtime. How could you do something like that?” Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m the only man who has ever disappointed. Nope. (I know for a fact that I’m not the only man on earth who has ever dropped a duce in a public sink. Shuck N’ Jive, Dallas, TX, MAY 2007).
Besides all of that, here is my weekly thought. Ready? What disappoints you in others once disappointed others in you. Here I go again for all of you smart people, pretty much everyone I know in comparison to me. What disappoints you in others once disappointed others in you.
You look back along the line, the eternal mess going from Point A to Point B, cradle to grave. At every single point along that line there was at least one soul who was disappointed in a choice you made. Some applaud when you eat your weight in pizza; others frown and say a prayer for your feigning health. So, I ask another question. What gives you the right to be disappointed? Not trying to answer - really just asking.
I’m interested in this question because I was recently disappointed. I was in Chinatown, Honolulu. Don’t ask me why but there I was. A man approached me, a man that I didn’t begin to classify. No, this guy did enough classifying for the both of us. We engaged in a few trivial exchanges. Then, I found myself, listening to this guy, learning more about how he saw himself than I ever cared to. Not only that. But I also learned how this guy thought the rest of the world saw him.
“I am a homeless man,” he said. “I am a political exile from a foreign country so I could never find a job.” “I’m a piece of shit.” “You are clean,” he said. “You are rich, wealthy.” (Enough positive, self-affirmation and others will begin affirming you, I guess.) But no, seriously, I get really pissed.
“Like I should feel bad because I took a shower this morning and have put forth effort to build a life for myself. Here you are with opportunity all around you but you can’t see the forest through the trees. What a disappointment!”
Here is the crux. Here is what I can learn – here is what we all can learn. Compassion. Compassion does not obligate you to give more of yourself than you are able or run around saving everyone. It does not force you to give money or time or your life. It does not ask you to do for others what they could do for themselves. Nope. It asks, “What gives you the right to be disappointed?” Compassion articulates that you are in others as they are in you.
So, as you wave around that stick of morality, that rightness that you live and the hope of all that will come from unseen to seen.
Remember, as you become the Buddha or see the Christ shinning back you from that congenial reflection. What disappoints you in others once disappointed others in you.
Thank You.
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
Oahu, HI
PS – I would like to thank all who responded last week. I got some excellent feedback on the story and hope to make you laugh more and more. Also, some new announcements. My wife is doing well. I’m going to see her next week – back to the mainland.
Invitation: I am running the Honolulu International Marathon on December 12th and all are invited to join me. I have set out to qualify for Boston. That’s right. My best and only marathon time is 3:43 so this will be one of the biggest challenges of my life. I have to beat 3:10. Do you think I got it? We’ll see.
The Faux Pas Press #1 - The Wanton Thought
THE FAUX PAS PRESS
A Weekly Thought
By JASON SCOTT CHAMBERS
18 JULY 2009
THE WANTON THOUGHT
This week was not so much a period of time as it was the greatest damned gift of this century and every other century for that matter, a sign maybe. I mean, every day, every week is a gift, but this week fucked with me. And this weekly thought is the result much internal debate and maybe some prodding by God. I don’t really know what the result will be. I just want to send good.
Here is a lesson I learned this week. It can be summed up very simply: Sometimes not getting what you think you want is really getting what you want. Cliché? Sophomoric? I don’t give a fuck. Well, I really do, but bear with me as I assert my ego.
Let me qualify. It is not always necessary to define experiences in positive or negative connotations. I further assert that that there are both positive and negative energies in the Übersphere (a word I created in the wake of Brüno, amazing humor by a genius). Both are infinite, can never be created or destroyed, they are recycled strife, and will find a place to rent in you if there is a vacancy.
I have spent much well-intentioned effort imagining the experiences that I desire, a practice I am well to do. This is a practice that all are well to do. I have imagined every potential future, what could be and what could have been. I have also imagined up disappointment for roads not taken or opportunities missed – not going to acting school, not finishing my first movie script Why I like Black Women, not going to law school so I could buy a fancy car and finally matter, or fouling up my first marriage. Some of these images are what, at one point, I thought that I wanted or I thought would make me happy. I didn’t get these things, or at least, didn’t get them in the way I thought I should.
But here is what I’ve learned, and this week helped me to see. I really want, and I believe we all really want, peace, abundance, health, and wealth. We want the opportunity to matter and share the best of ourselves with others. I learned that unachieved goals help me gain a clearer picture of what happiness means. What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and loose his soul (or something like that)?
I purchased a book recently that has assisted me in clearly seeing my success. It is what has inspired me to begin this weekly thought and is called The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success by Deepak Chopra. It thought me that life is not a horse and pony show but a real presence. We are part of everything.
I am just simply trying do what I feel will make the most difference for the most people. I am simple. I write, I do my job as a linguist, I train for distance races, and I love my wife and daughter. I fuck up a lot, but I think I’m getting it. Sometimes not getting what you think you want is really getting what you want.
A Weekly Thought
By JASON SCOTT CHAMBERS
18 JULY 2009
THE WANTON THOUGHT
This week was not so much a period of time as it was the greatest damned gift of this century and every other century for that matter, a sign maybe. I mean, every day, every week is a gift, but this week fucked with me. And this weekly thought is the result much internal debate and maybe some prodding by God. I don’t really know what the result will be. I just want to send good.
Here is a lesson I learned this week. It can be summed up very simply: Sometimes not getting what you think you want is really getting what you want. Cliché? Sophomoric? I don’t give a fuck. Well, I really do, but bear with me as I assert my ego.
Let me qualify. It is not always necessary to define experiences in positive or negative connotations. I further assert that that there are both positive and negative energies in the Übersphere (a word I created in the wake of Brüno, amazing humor by a genius). Both are infinite, can never be created or destroyed, they are recycled strife, and will find a place to rent in you if there is a vacancy.
I have spent much well-intentioned effort imagining the experiences that I desire, a practice I am well to do. This is a practice that all are well to do. I have imagined every potential future, what could be and what could have been. I have also imagined up disappointment for roads not taken or opportunities missed – not going to acting school, not finishing my first movie script Why I like Black Women, not going to law school so I could buy a fancy car and finally matter, or fouling up my first marriage. Some of these images are what, at one point, I thought that I wanted or I thought would make me happy. I didn’t get these things, or at least, didn’t get them in the way I thought I should.
But here is what I’ve learned, and this week helped me to see. I really want, and I believe we all really want, peace, abundance, health, and wealth. We want the opportunity to matter and share the best of ourselves with others. I learned that unachieved goals help me gain a clearer picture of what happiness means. What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and loose his soul (or something like that)?
I purchased a book recently that has assisted me in clearly seeing my success. It is what has inspired me to begin this weekly thought and is called The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success by Deepak Chopra. It thought me that life is not a horse and pony show but a real presence. We are part of everything.
I am just simply trying do what I feel will make the most difference for the most people. I am simple. I write, I do my job as a linguist, I train for distance races, and I love my wife and daughter. I fuck up a lot, but I think I’m getting it. Sometimes not getting what you think you want is really getting what you want.
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
OAHU, HI
P.S. I have included a story called Leroy’s Balls. I hope you laugh your balls off. Please send your thoughts if you feel so inclined. Also, I am asking for positive thoughts and prayers for Elizabeth and Lola Isabella Chambers who is due on October 28th 2009. One more thing, I need your positive energy for JACKMORMON: 69 meditations on being a Mormon and trying your damnedest to be a Latter-day Saint – need to find an agent for it. It is also available for anyone who wants to read the newest draft. Feedback is always encouraged. Thank You.
The Faux Pas Press #3 - Tow Truck Travesty
THE FAUX PAS PRESS #3
A Weekly Thought
By: Jason Scott Chambers
15 August 2009
Tow Truck Travesty
I have some intensely positive news from an experience I wish I’d never had. Sound weird? Good from bad, glass half-full kind of positive, make me feel better about dumb decisions kind of positive. Yes, I recently got my car towed. Awesome. Yep, all intentions to park my car in a different spot left my mind after a game of Drunken Jenga with some close friends. I passed out on the floor while watching one of my favorite shows, Entourage. (A guy can dream, can’t he? My artificial life.) It could have been the delicate buzz of malted hops sucked through a straw after a new rule was made in our drinking game. (Ever sucked beer through a straw in timed intervals?) Maybe it was my friend’s cozy, party-stained carpet with not even a pillow to comfort my elongated head, but I just plain forgot to have a sober friend drive my car to a safe destination. Wouldn’t you know it? My 2005 Chrysler Sebring got towed by a friendly little chubby man, a guy who provides a noble service to the community, the Hero of Makakilo, HI. If I’m not mistaken Family Towing is the name of the company, and his license plate read something like UGOTJCKED. Like I said, this is a community based organization, kind of like Toys 4 Tots or Habitat for Humanity except without all the crazy do-gooding.
Here’s the good news. Not only did these fine folks tow my car, but (are you ready for this?) the same company actually towed my car from the same spot just months ago. So, this is the second time I’ve had the privilege of dealing with Family Towing. Awesome. Some people get frequent customer cards at Cold Stone Creamery or Starbuck’s. Not me. Apparently, I’ve got $145 to blow on horseshit. I actually prefer my frequent user card from the midnight bandits over at Family Towing. 5 tows and I’ll become a preferred member which is pretty cool. It means that I’ll get one free surprise tow/month. So, they’ll come and get my car wherever I happen to be and tow me for no reason at all. Awesome.
In all seriousness, I was quite embarrassed to call an acquaintance on Sunday morning and cancel a spear fishing trip. I was close to suicidal when I had to call my wife and money manager, Liz.
“Such a disappointment. Didn’t you get towed by that same company in June?”
“Yes, but I did get a frequent user card.
“Oh, well that’s a different story, intensely positive news. You are a genius, and I love you.”
In my defense, I am a human and sometimes, if not most of the time, I make mistakes, but here is the intensely positive news, my thought for the week. I learned that, sometimes, in life you strike out, but here’s my thought. The game of life was meant to be played – single, double, triple, or even pathetic strike out. You can’t hit a home run at every at bat. I’m here to play this game until they throw me out.
I can’t promise that I won’t strike out but I can promise that I will swing away until my last breath, until I take off my cap and bid the crowds farewell. The game? I will meet her with my very best every day – single, double, triple, or even pathetic strike out. You don’t have to hit a home run every time have a successful career (or a successful life for that matter).
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
San Juan Capistrano, CA
P.S.
The Apostate Hymns by Jason Scott Chambers is now available on demand at www.outskirtspress.com. It can be purchased through their bookstore. They are a print-on-demand company that has agreed to print my poems in that fashion. It will be officially available at the end of the month.
For those of you who do not know, The Apostate Hymns is a flowing journey towards all that frightens traditional sensibilities, an encounter with the Self in the highest places of consciousness. It is also the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever written – crazy performance pieces that have only the semblance of a narrative. Good shit.
A Weekly Thought
By: Jason Scott Chambers
15 August 2009
Tow Truck Travesty
I have some intensely positive news from an experience I wish I’d never had. Sound weird? Good from bad, glass half-full kind of positive, make me feel better about dumb decisions kind of positive. Yes, I recently got my car towed. Awesome. Yep, all intentions to park my car in a different spot left my mind after a game of Drunken Jenga with some close friends. I passed out on the floor while watching one of my favorite shows, Entourage. (A guy can dream, can’t he? My artificial life.) It could have been the delicate buzz of malted hops sucked through a straw after a new rule was made in our drinking game. (Ever sucked beer through a straw in timed intervals?) Maybe it was my friend’s cozy, party-stained carpet with not even a pillow to comfort my elongated head, but I just plain forgot to have a sober friend drive my car to a safe destination. Wouldn’t you know it? My 2005 Chrysler Sebring got towed by a friendly little chubby man, a guy who provides a noble service to the community, the Hero of Makakilo, HI. If I’m not mistaken Family Towing is the name of the company, and his license plate read something like UGOTJCKED. Like I said, this is a community based organization, kind of like Toys 4 Tots or Habitat for Humanity except without all the crazy do-gooding.
Here’s the good news. Not only did these fine folks tow my car, but (are you ready for this?) the same company actually towed my car from the same spot just months ago. So, this is the second time I’ve had the privilege of dealing with Family Towing. Awesome. Some people get frequent customer cards at Cold Stone Creamery or Starbuck’s. Not me. Apparently, I’ve got $145 to blow on horseshit. I actually prefer my frequent user card from the midnight bandits over at Family Towing. 5 tows and I’ll become a preferred member which is pretty cool. It means that I’ll get one free surprise tow/month. So, they’ll come and get my car wherever I happen to be and tow me for no reason at all. Awesome.
In all seriousness, I was quite embarrassed to call an acquaintance on Sunday morning and cancel a spear fishing trip. I was close to suicidal when I had to call my wife and money manager, Liz.
“Such a disappointment. Didn’t you get towed by that same company in June?”
“Yes, but I did get a frequent user card.
“Oh, well that’s a different story, intensely positive news. You are a genius, and I love you.”
In my defense, I am a human and sometimes, if not most of the time, I make mistakes, but here is the intensely positive news, my thought for the week. I learned that, sometimes, in life you strike out, but here’s my thought. The game of life was meant to be played – single, double, triple, or even pathetic strike out. You can’t hit a home run at every at bat. I’m here to play this game until they throw me out.
I can’t promise that I won’t strike out but I can promise that I will swing away until my last breath, until I take off my cap and bid the crowds farewell. The game? I will meet her with my very best every day – single, double, triple, or even pathetic strike out. You don’t have to hit a home run every time have a successful career (or a successful life for that matter).
Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,
Jason Scott Chambers
San Juan Capistrano, CA
P.S.
The Apostate Hymns by Jason Scott Chambers is now available on demand at www.outskirtspress.com. It can be purchased through their bookstore. They are a print-on-demand company that has agreed to print my poems in that fashion. It will be officially available at the end of the month.
For those of you who do not know, The Apostate Hymns is a flowing journey towards all that frightens traditional sensibilities, an encounter with the Self in the highest places of consciousness. It is also the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever written – crazy performance pieces that have only the semblance of a narrative. Good shit.
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