The Faux Pas Press #15: The Annoyance

The Faux Pas Press #15

A Weekly Thought

By Jason Scott Chambers

09 November 2009

The Annoyance

Would the world be a better place if you were not in it?

I know.

“Jason, how could you ask such a question? Of course, the world would not be better if I were gone.”

Really? How could you ever know? But to put aside the asinine notion that there is virtue in self-extinction, let me submit that it would not be. Everyone, every single soul on this planet has an ingredient. I feel this inside of me.

At the end of my freshman year, the spring semester of 98’ at Montana State University, I was forced to encounter the death of a family member. And consequently, I was forced to ask myself whether or not it really mattered.

It was sometime in April or May – right around the time that I was to take my final exams as a film major. A grueling semester included the production of my first short film, a project entitled 9mm Blues, it included a long and heated dance with Mormonism (a dance that continues on), and finally, it included a fulfilling finish to a year worth living, full of challenges, my first successful year of college. This encounter with my uncle’s death was unexpected. I knew that he had painted his life red with experience, but I wondered if he wanted stay here or not, whether he had chosen his moment to go. Looking back – I was actually kind of annoyed.

“Jason, how could you say such a thing? Death is serious business.”

You see, I believe that each man chooses his life. Each person decides what they are here for, what they will do with the time they have. Furthermore, I believe that we choose when to go. Ignorance and naiveté talking? Search your heart. You will find the same message screaming at you.

So, I was annoyed with my uncle’s choice. Actually, this is one of the first times I can remember being annoyed. You know, I had planned an entire year of happiness, a year of fulfilling endeavors, the fullest life that I could have imagined. No where in my plan did I include going to a funeral to mourn a man who cursed me and spent his waking hours disregarding his body. No where in my plan was there time blocked out for a funeral. Selfishness? Well, that depends on whether or not you believe that each man has the right to pursue his individual happiness. Not to mention, this was a guy who literally basked in negativity in the four or five years before his life ended.

If you plan on dying just to get some attention – don’t – I certainly won’t pay you any more or less attention that I do now. The only person worthy of my undying attention is Lola and that is because she is cuter that anyone I know. Don’t interrupt the good choices of others with your poor ones.

I love my kid and my wife. They are cool and supportive. They encourage me to spend my time writing and giving birth to the ideas that will become our brand and livelihood. They know how to get positive attention out of me – they live happily – for their sake and their sake alone.

Those who strive for negative attention will not only not get what they are after but they will probably end up getting roasted on The Faux Pas Press. (Not that anyone reads The Faux Pas Press, but I'm just saying.) Look out. I mean, I’m the kind of guy of that will roast my own uncle post-mortem for interrupting a good year with the residual of his poor choices.

(Don’t worry. I won’t expect you to throw me a death party either. You’ll want to. I’ll be jumping off the Chrysler building at the ripe age of 100. It will be broadcast around the globe, and I promise, you won’t want to miss it.) When I leave this world do not mourn me. Don’t put on black tuxedos (unless this is what you normally wear), don’t call everyone you know expecting some sympathy for free, and please don’t insult me with a funeral. If you do anything besides drop my corpse off a cliff, I would like to be filled with explosives – a cherry bomb and some bottle rockets – and then I would like to be fired out of a canon into the loving arms of the Pacific Ocean, explosions hopefully lighting up the night sky. Then go to O’Toole’s Irish Pub in Honolulu. Drink a pint, smile, and grab a stranger to make-out with. You feeling sad won’t make me any more alive, but I am willing to bet that you being joyful certainly will. I promise. I won’t interrupt.

We write the drama. We become so obsessed with the human drama that we forget we are writing it – writing it with our thoughts, our words, and our uninspired, senseless attachment, the illusions of death. Now, I’m no heathen; I’m not saying that you have 100% control over your life. No, no, no. But if you did, how would you write it?

I know. I know. “But I’m not God, Jason. Neither are you.” Of course not. But if you were, what kind of crazy dreams would you put into place for yourself.

“But it is not that easy, Jason.” I know. But if it were, what would you do?

You will not get my attention unless you’ve asked yourself these questions. Please live your life happy – for you. Here is my thought: Don’t interrupt the good choices of others with your poor ones.

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good.

Jason Scott Chambers

www.fauxpaspress.com