The Faux Pas Press #6

The Faux Pas Press #6

A Weekly Thought

By Jason Scott Chambers

QI or the One

QI is a Chinese character, and if I had any interest in writing it for you, I would. Among approximately 19 other things, this is a word that symbolizes an ancient Chinese dynasty that ruled with an iron fist for centuries. You might assume, given the shallow depth of my life experience, that I learned this character from the History Channel or by watching lots of ánime, but this is not the case. Along with other languages I study Mandarin Chinese, which I began studying at the government’s renowned language school somewhere along California’s Northern coast. (Now, here in the context of this weekly meditation, I won’t mention the inefficiency of this language school in the hands of long-standing bureaucracy. I also won’t mention how I only got through the Chinese Program as an exercise in self-will, with the help of some loyal teachers and friends, and by selling my soul to a demon named Parley Angerbliss. No, I won’t mention budget misallocations and other misdeeds executed on behalf of the American people. I also won’t talk about how corrupt bureaucrats camp out with greasy palms while our young, our righteous, and our victorious fall to their deaths on desert sod. No, not here, but stay fucking tuned.)

I learned this week’s thought from a Zen Master I met while living in Monterey, a Chinese Instructor who doubled as a Pebble Beach Golf Pro. His name is QI LAO SHI. (Again, if it suited my thought, you would have tone marks and characters.) I, however, have come to know him as the One. I also expect all who have had the pleasure of knowing him to address him as such. He is a small man with a large energetic mantle, and history will remember the One if I have anything to say about it. I have a friend who recorded his teachings in a red composition book. Here is just one of them: Your critics are not worthy of you. They may be loud but they are not your enemies. No, (submit your name here), your greatest enemies are within you. That blew my arrested development. Your greatest enemies are within you.

The One and I used to circle the Presidio’s historic Soldier Field as he would impart the most profound teachings to me, and for these teachings, I am eternally grateful. I have been fortunate enough to know and am grateful for my many teachers. The One taught me ideas that have proven useful – particularly this week.

As I have stated in previous thoughts, I am a runner. I do this for enjoyment, for the expansion of the Self, and to finally claim the elusive six pack. I do not run long distances to vanquish foe, but on rare roads I have crossed opponents who esteemed themselves to be my enemies. Well, with exception of Elizabeth, I have no enemies that can’t be defeated. She always wins, but this guy, this one fucking guy; we’ll call him Pistol Pete O’Toole. I won’t use his real name, mainly because I want to avoid altercations with a gang of ex-boy band members. But this guy, this guy loves creating enemies for himself, making goals out of running faster than slow people, not on simply being his best. What’s the difference? Well, for me, running means presence of mind and body. It means putting in my 25 miles per week like I’ve promised the gods and pushing myself. For Pistol Pete O’Toole, it means finishing in front of me while I’m exercising. (Really, I’m honored). It means being the fastest, best guy in a group full of novices and continuing down a road of douche-baggery ending in a painful discussion with a mirror. The mirror says, “You only thought you were kick ass.”

Here is what I have to say about Pistol Pete O’Toole: 1) He is not worthy to be your enemy, 2) Be careful about becoming a slave to the power you seek, 3) Images are hard to keep up, especially if you have enemies pacing right behind, and 4) Your greatest enemies are within you. (So, maybe, I manifested Pistol Pete O’Toole. I mean, you listen to enough 98 Degrees and look what happens.)

I dedicate this thought to the long and productive life of Staff Sergeant Jeff Hopkins and to the immortality of his book Broken Under Interrogation. I supplicate the gods on his behalf this week as he heads into the sand box. (Broken Under Interrogation is available at Amazon.com or wherever bad-asses push print.) I am grateful to him for his support and consider it an honor to call him a friend. I also ask you to send him safety and swift return. Jeff, I send you green lights and galactic pulsars of good, blessings be upon you and your posterity through all generations of time and trough out all eternity.

Thanks also to the One, QI LAO SHI. Thank you also to our young, our righteous, and our victorious.

Green Lights and Galactic Pulsars of Good,

Jason Scott Chambers
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